There are moments in our lives that define.
They define who we are, who we will become, where we have been, what our existence is/was all about. And they are not just one, they are not confined to one moment or one day. They usually occur during memorable or important occasions. The birth of a baby, the death of a parent, a new job, or a family or national tragedy. Though growth and change are not limited to occurring after something as great as the things mentioned, sometimes, just an action by someone you admired or a harsh word from a colleague may be enough to spawn definition.
I have experienced the death of a parent. It is such a strange thing – so much that you hang on to becomes unimportant in a flash. I have experienced the birth of a child, four times over and each child is completely different, what I share with each is different. It has been wonderful and painful to watch them each mature and grow into teenagers and adults. They each impress me so much, what more could a parent want? I have also experienced a miscarriage and the sorrow it brings – defining, to be sure. I never thought I would fall in love again and experience continual moments of definition with him. So glad I said yes.
And something I never thought I would fully experience, as an adult? My country at war. I just never thought that the world had not evolved past this way of not solving differences or issues. It seems surreal, really, to think that there are guns in young soldiers’ arms right now. Completely surreal.
I have quit a job I loved at a moment’s notice. It was a matter of principle and yet, I was devastated. But that defining, life-changing moment was necessary and one of the best things that ever happened to me. With that change, I moved from executive, retained search to in-house, corporate recruitment and the world of business operations opened up to me. I was inspired to alter my major and complete my degree in business; with which I fell completely in love. I have since worked as a contract recruiter, been a search consultant and now, happily reside on the vendor side of the recruiting industry proving quality in service and product.
They are not always what we wish for, but they are, usually, what we need and most definitely what shape who we are. How we got here is important but isn’t who we are when we finally arrive more so? I shudder to think where I would be and what I would be doing had I not had those four babies or had I not quit that job. I cannot imagine still having a mullet (yes, I had one) or wearing a corduroy suit (yes, I had one of those too). I cannot imagine the fax machine being the greatest tech ever or recording a voice greeting on a dictaphone or smacking and shaking a VHS tape to fix the tracking.
The Better Way
I would like to think that we improve as we move away from the mullet and, hopefully, war. I would like to think that “the better way” is not a dream or a sin. I would like to believe that the evolution of new technology and new attitudes will continue the creation and progression of “where we live.” I have heard it said, “to each his own.” It depends on how you choose to define that moment.