Do you feel secure?

We put down security deposits to hold a reservation or to rent a dwelling or car. We run security checks on our computers, we lock our doors. Wherever you turn, someone asking for some type of security or another:  health insurance, car insurance, sign here or there…, Gee, now I feel secure…

In 1989, I had a baby, she was born three months too early. She weighed 2 pounds, five ounces and had to be delivered by Emergency C-section because a natural birth would have been too hard on her tiny, under-developed body. She was very sick and had to be cared for a’round the clock in a neonatal intensive care unit , a NICU, for the first eighty-nine days of her life.

I thought, prior to her birth, that I had security.

I had a happy marriage. I had another perfectly healthy child two years prior. Perfect pregnancy and delivery. I had great health insurance. I took good care of myself. I had excellent prenatal care. I owned a home in Indiana – the Midwest -Heart of America.

Nothing could touch me.

I found out at a very young age, twenty-five years old, that life IS NOT easy, that love doesn’t save your world, and that happiness is not guaranteed. Prior to that birth, a psychologist sat with me and my husband to discuss the problems we would be facing, even asking if we wanted life-saving measures to be taken prior.

How do you answer that?

How do you say no to that question? We were told she could possibly be blind, she could possibly be retarded, she would probably have severe respiratory problems and that her life and ours would be very difficult.  My preemie daughter, my baby, turned 23 a while ago… By all standards, she is perfect – save a bit of asthma. Which is nothing.

some birthdays are lovely...

We enter this world with very little security. Very few of us have a completely pain-free upbringing or perfect college experience or amazing, spot-free career. Some of us have had the profound luck to have had multiple careers (fingers pointing at me -> Gen Flux? Maybe) and most have struggled and worked very hard to get to where they are. I don’t think anyone gets off scott-free and if you believe reality TV, most certainly, the Kardashians have not had the most carefree of lives.  And would that be what we want or need, anyway? Doesn’t struggle or lack of security make us stronger, more reliable, more wise, more able to handle additional struggle?

Many of us found out what is truly meant by job security over the last several years. Countless individuals found out what struggle really is. I, for one, have had enough strength-building experiences to last several lifetimes. So, my next life should be pretty easy, right? 

Ha.

Security isn’t a right or a privilege. It’s a fairy tale. You have to make your own security; it will not be handed to you. So work it and earn it. Move over Cinderella, Harry Potter, and Twilight…,  there’s a new book on the shelf.

Rayanne Thorn, @ray_anne is the Marketing Director for online recruiting software company, Broadbean Technology.  She is also a proud mother of four, happily engaged to Tom, residing in Laguna Beach, California, and a daily contributor for Blogging4Jobs.  Connect with her on LinkedIn.  

Not too long ago, I faced a very difficult time.
One of the greatest challenges of my life…

Exhaustion Was My Friend

This is nothing new, as many of us have faced hardship, in some cases, extreme hardship, over the last several years.   I had left a long-time position as a senior recruiter at an executive search firm but was soon working as an in-house recruiting manager for a tech start-up.  I recognized rather quickly that I wanted more for myself.  I had tampered with completing my business degree but I had always been so caught up in my work and family that I just didn’t have the time.  How could I possibly squeeze one more thing into my already crammed day/week/month/year?

As a corporate recruiter with a fledgling company, I didn’t have much to offer jobseekers by way of salary or company brand, but one of the initiatives that aided me in the recruitment process was the extensive business training that was offered to and actually required of each new hire.  It was touted as a “Mini-MBA” of sorts and was very intensive.  Multiple business books were required reading, including “The Fifth Discipline” and “Diffusion of Innovation” – not exactly light reading.  However, we were also expected to read such delightful fare as “The Fred Factor” and “The Purple Cow” by my one of my faves, Seth Godin.

One such book was entitled No Excuse Leadership by Brace Barber.  It related stories from the Army Ranger School and the trials and evils faced by participants there.  As I read through the pages with images of men and women struggling to finish a mud run or climb through a barbed wire obstacle course, I realized my days of fighting traffic on the 55 and piles of laundry were really nothing compared to mud up my nose and days on end without sleep.  If these leaders-in-the-making could survive their training, then I could certainly go back to school and accomplish what I really wanted and ultimately needed to do for my career.

As I was reading No Excuse Leadership, I made the decision right then and was registered for fall classes by the next afternoon.  Throughout my time going “back to school”, I was often cranky, exhausted, felt like I couldn’t think one more thought or write one more line but I never regretted my decision or toyed with the idea of dropping a course or excusing myself from the whole, tiring process.  For indeed, it was grueling but that was no excuse and nothing felt so good as accepting a diploma for something I had worked so hard to achieve.  Nothing.

Leadership requires one to let go of preconceived notions of how to listen and how to guide.  This is a distinct difference from management, which requires structure and discipline and tends to be separate and independent of the recognition that each participant brings something unique and wonderful to a team. Management is the letter of the law, whereas leadership is the spirit of the law. We often disregard the impact others may have on our actions or choices, citing sovereign thought and procedure. Be quick to recognize that reasons stand behind every aspect of life, from decisions to what just is.

Reasons, yes. Excuses, no.

Rayanne Thorn, @ray_anne is the Marketing Director for online recruiting software company, Broadbean Technology.  She is also a proud mother of four, happily engaged to Tom, residing in Laguna Beach, California, and a daily contributor for Blogging4Jobs.  Connect with her on LinkedIn.  

“If anything is worth doing,
do it with all your heart.”

Happy Buddha

A plaque used to hang on my wall that attributed this quote to Buddha. I once ran a quick Google search for clarification and found, indeed, several references to this as a quote by Siddhartha Gautama Buddha, the founder of Buddhism sometime around 500 BC. However, I do not agree with the sentiment nor am I sure it is always possible or plausible to expect that anything (read: everything) worth doing should be pursued wholeheartedly.  Due to my disagreement, the plaque no longer hangs on my wall.

There is much required of each of us; we may not want to always do but we have to because we are responsible adults who contribute to society for its betterment and for the wellness of our families, friends, and loved ones. Is it realistic to say that everything (read: anything) that we do must be practiced with our heart, min,d and soul wholly in unison and be happy about it?

I wish I didn’t disagree but I do.

There are some things in this life that we just have to endure in order to make it through to the other side, to the next day, week, month, pay period. They probably aren’t the easy or preferable tasks but they are necessary.  Should these necessaries be set aside if we aren’t in the proper mindset to give our whole heart to the effort or do we press on, enduring to the end? What is the right course? While attitude is prone to change, going up and down, most duties and responsibilities remain constant. Hoping for or falsely trying to create a better attitude is not always a viable option.

I am of the understanding that getting things done just has to be done and should actually take precedence over “my heart being in it.”  I may be wrong, but I don’t think my kids care if my heart is in their clothes being clean or not, they just would like and need clean P.E. clothes every Monday morning.  I can’t go to my boss and say, “I’m sorry, my heart just isn’t in this project we were scheduled to complete today. Maybe my heart will be in it tomorrow.”

A former boss used to try on a consistent basis to change his attitude and desires by saying, “I get to make dinner tonight” or “I get to do the shopping this week” instead of saying “I have to do this… or that…”  As much, as he tried, I don’t think it really worked because in the back of his mind, he knew those responsibilities weren’t really his desires, and ultimately so did those of us who heard his false declarations.  They were needs that he had to meet for someone else, not himself.  There is anything wrong with having to complete an assignment or needing to do a chore.

Life and work are not always about choice or desire.

Most of it is about duty, honor, and fulfilling a need. And that’s alright.  What is important is whether or not you can distinguish a need from a want and then getting that distinction right.

The truth is…,

If anything is worth doing, do it.

Rayanne Thorn, @ray_anne is the Marketing Director for online recruiting software company, Broadbean Technology.  She is also a proud mother of four, happily engaged to Tom, residing in Laguna Beach, California, and a daily contributor for Blogging4Jobs.  Connect with her on LinkedIn.  

I grew up in a large family

A little sister, four brothers, and at various times, a couple of foster kids graced the halls of our five bedroom house.  My parents were happy to share their home with anyone who needed a meal or a bed, at any time. My mom worked very hard and regularly served balance meals.  There was always fruit served with breakfast, lunch, and dinner, whether it was a bowl of strawberries or sliced apples. My favorite fruit side dish was peeled orange sections topped with wonderful powdered sugar in a big bowl. It was like heaven to this nine-year old girl.

My mom served this rarely, usually oranges were sliced with peel left on. I always knew oranges were a delicacy, for my mom made sure we understood that during the Depression, oranges were scarce and expensive. There was always an orange in the toe of our Christmas stockings and I continue this tradition with my own children.

It wasn’t until years later when I grew to truly appreciate the oranges and powdered sugar joy. My mother revealed to me, a young adult, that she didn’t like to peel oranges. Not just disliked it but hated it with a passion. It was all she could do to peel one orange, let alone the six to eight oranges she would have to prepare to make my favorite fruit side. She hated it, but did it because we loved it. I have thought a lot about this over the years as I have prepared meals for my own children or done endless loads of laundry.

Or had to make follow-up calls I didn’t want to or had to fulfill specific hated job duties. Or had to put together references or case studies or put out several job postings or rank dozens of résumés. Or rewrite a job description or refurbish the on-boarding process. Throughout the course of a work day, there are parts of any  job that are less desirable than others, there may even be parts which are hated.

When “learning to love it” is impossible,
it may be easier to remember the big picture.

Understand that each part of your job description makes up the whole.  The whole is what employers, partners, and clients/customers appreciate, it’s why calls are returned, why partners share more details, why referrals are plentiful and why, ultimately, you are happy and satisfied with your own performance, your big picture.

They weren’t the easiest nor the most fun to prepare,
but those oranges were the best part of the meal.

Mom also hates to wrap presents, but that’s another story.

Rayanne Thorn, @ray_anne is the Marketing Director for online recruiting software company, Broadbean Technology.  She is also a proud mother of four, happily engaged to Tom, residing in Laguna Beach, California, and a daily contributor for Blogging4Jobs.  Connect with her on LinkedIn.  

Who are you? What do you do?

While these two questions are very different, we are sometimes (unfortunately) more clearly defined by what we do.  Deep thoughts, indeed, as it is not always so easy to recognize that the inner you might be very different than the you you present to the world. Knowing how to manage you can be an elusive task, full of introspection along with some sweet surprises.

I am good at what I do...

True business professionals should be able get to the center of biz matters quickly, using discernment as well as the revelatory gear which coincides with this thing we embrace as our work, livelihood, position, job, security, employment, and career.  This discernment is what makes us successful at our jobs.  The abilities to assess a situation, comb through data, and translate tone of voice are just a few of the capabilities which lead to success in almost any chosen field.

There are those who have trained for years, attended industry-specific courses, and successfully navigated degree programs to find their place in their chosen industry.  Still, others fall into careers by sheer accident or mere coincidence. Whatever or whomever brought you to your current place in the work-a-day world; the opportunity to build more than an occupation is encouraged in any field of endeavor.

Some cite a love or passion they feel for their respective careers because of the ability to change lives, including their own, while to others – simply making a difference is reason enough to claim success. Most recognize the prospect for financial gain or steady income when work goes well, as well as establishing lasting business relationships.

What is it about you that drives your success?

What makes you great at your job?  What is the reason your team gets the job done?  Maybe you have some advice or words you live by that result in accomplishment.  Maintaining a personal vision is imperative when times are uncertain.

“Man often becomes what he believes himself to be.
If I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing,
it is possible that I may end by really becoming incapable of doing it.
On the contrary, if I have the belief that I can do it,
I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning.”
~Mahatma Gandhi

Rayanne Thorn, @ray_anne is the Marketing Director for online recruiting software company, Broadbean Technology.  She is also a proud mother of four, happily engaged to Tom, residing in Laguna Beach, California, and a daily contributor for Blogging4Jobs.  Connect with her on LinkedIn.  

I used to plow through my days
at the speed of light.

light

If I slowed down, I would fall behind.  I couldn’t afford to fall behind.  What if I got left?  My greatest fear as an adult has always been failure.  I have much to do, so I haven’t stopped, but I have learned to slow down a bit and ride the surf that carries me instead of fight against it…

I have learned to take time to strategize and/or construct lists,
lists that I will actually mind and check off.

During the course of your day, are you taking the time to slow down and regard your work? Or do you flit from one report or project to another, without considering the whole picture and the time suck that absent-minded work can become.  Becoming mentally engaged is not always at the fore front of everyone’s mind.  Many times, we arrive at our desk and absently pour over emails or reports without first connecting with a particular vision or purpose.

In my very first job as a recruiter, I worried incessantly that I would not appear or sound “engaged” or in the know. I was new to the industry and vehemently denied the sales side of me.  I spent a half hour every morning just re-attaching myself to my work, to a particular assignment – its requirements and various details. It was important to me to have that time to strategize, make mental and written notes, and then customize my presentation.  I reviewed the previous day’s work and the follow-up required. I often felt ill-prepared because I had not been raised in business as recruiter or sales person – but I had been raised as a service provider, so the transition required thought and at times, was very difficult for me.  In the end, my service provider mentality blended richly with the salesman dying to get out.

The daily snapping-it-all-back-together is a requirement for me.  Carefully regarding my work is a must.  I must look at the pieces before I try and make the puzzle work.  Then I also must envision what the final picture will look like.  Strategy.  It is not a dirty or lazy word. I think it is one of the most beautiful words there is, but it also is not an easy word.  It requires thought, time, and patience. In the long run – for there is no short run, strategy saves those three key resources.

Thought
Time
Patience

Slow down you move too fast, you’ve got to make the morning last.  And it will be gone before you look over the top of your computer.

Rayanne Thorn, @ray_anne is the Marketing Director for online recruiting software company, Broadbean Technology.  She is also a proud mother of four, happily engaged to Tom, residing in Laguna Beach, California, and a daily contributor for Blogging4Jobs.  Connect with her on LinkedIn.