It has been two months since I joined Jessica here at Blogging4Jobs. I spend two to three hours a day formulating, planning, and writing Bonus Track. It is one of my life’s greatest pleasures. The biggest reason? I think because it is a “dusting off of my soul”. Nothing has brought me more clarity than shaking out my brain, doing the dust off, and then puking it out onto a word doc before I transfer to wordpress. And I have to tell you, it is a lot like puking – I always feel better when I am done.
Prior to joining Blogging4Jobs, Bonus Track was at home on RecruitingBlogs.com. I still hang one of my many hats at RBC, but I was ready for a greater challenge – the art of exposition. I am a writer that tells it all, the dusting – as it were. A professional HR and Recruiting forum is not always the best place at which to do that. Jessica offered me an opportunity to find a place where I could “bare it all” so to speak. And that is my intention over the next year, not exhibition so much, but self-revelation.
If I have discovered anything over my last four years of regular blogging (and truth be told – it has been about seven, as I blogged regularly on MySpace back in the day) – if I have discovered anything, it is that I am not alone. Living life today is not always easy. The economy has had its way with many. Divorce has left scars not realized. Depression looms for more than we know. Anxiety steals peace of mind and we are all exposed to prejudice in some form or another.
I have not had a smooth, easy, or carefree life. I haven’t, but so what – that is life. Neither have most people who can be truly honest with themselves. Granted, we bring a lot of unhappiness on ourselves, but we are also at the mercy of the choices of people we love and those we may not even know. In my art of exposition, I have dug deep and have found the desire to do just that, expose faults, shameful secrets, and, in the process, let them go. I have too much life left to live to cling to regret or shame. I have always hoped that through my true life stories, others may see themselves and realize that they do not have to hang on to bitterness or hate, fear or disgrace, sorrow or disappointment.
I want better for my children. I want them to let mistakes go as soon as they right them. I want them to recognize error before it leaves an indelible mark. I want them to know they do not have to be perfect, that it is alright to fail on occasion, and that they are worthy of the purest form of love. And I want them to know and accept that I have done the best I know how, truly and that all I ever wanted was for them to be healthy and happy.
Simple things to want and hope for. Far more difficult to make happen when you factor the whole “being human” thing into the equation. This will be a life-long process, unending. And it may not be the right thing for those who read, but it will be the right thing for this writer. So hang on, this ride may be a bumpy one, but it will certainly be a truthful one. Let the dusting continue…
Rayanne Thorn, @ray_anne is the North American Marketing Director for the online recruiting software company, Broadbean Technology. She is also a proud mother of four residing in Laguna Beach, California, and a contributor for Blogging4Jobs. Connect with her on LinkedIn.
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
Yay! I’m glad you are here. I’m looking forward to you writing and sharing more amazing stories. Thanks for deciding that my little blog was the place for you. I value our friendship.
JMM
Me too, Jess! Thanks for the opp!
A writer I am not, but I enjoy a good read and I return regularly to your blog posts. Life and work – work-life is all intertwined and you have a great way of sharing your take on it all.
{ 2 trackbacks }