New people. New situations. New school. New job. New relationship. New home. New opportunities. There are many times when we get a chance to seemingly start over. I say seemingly because they aren’t really “start-overs” – they are life, they are the changes and consistencies that regularly occur in the progression of a life. But they are also the parts of living a life that cause pain and stress. And they cause us to question ourselves, question the person we have become, the one we have carefully created.
One of my elementary schools only went up to fourth grade, so at the end of fourth grade, I said goodbye - for the summer – to my best friends Lynn Tabacchi and Tracy Sandler. We would still be going to school together, just at a different school. And I was worried. I didn’t want things to change, I didn’t want to have to make new friends; I had loved fourth grade.
On the first day of fifth grade, my worst fears were confirmed, life had changed; Lynn and Tracy had moved on. Sad and lonely, I watched them from the other side of the playground. They sat under the big tree with a large group of girls and watched the boys play prisonball, flirting, during recess. I paced up and down, looking for an opportunity to say hello and be a part of the group again. I could hear my mother’s voice in my head, “Just walk up and ask how their summer was… what are you afraid of?” But I was very afraid, more afraid than I had ever been. I felt out of place and very alone.
Finally, I slapped my thigh and said to myself, “Just run over there, just do it.” So I did, I ran over to the tree as fast as I could and when I was almost there, I tripped and slid on the grass right up to them. They looked at me and laughed, I almost cried. I smiled weakly trying to cover the bright green grass stain on my new corduroys and said, “Hi guys, how was your summer?” They looked at me funny and just kept on talking amongst themselves, I plopped down and joined in. And it was true, it had changed, we had all grown up a bit. Some of the girls now had boobs and boyfriends. But we all learned to adjust and enjoy our last two years of elementary school. Oh, and those darn popularity contests had begun.
Whenever I walk into a board meeting or step up in front of a group to speak, I think about that first day of fifth grade at Scott Avenue Elementary School and think, this won’t be as bad as that day, at least I won’t get a grass stain. You can’t prevent every grass stain in life, but you can get up with dignity, brush yourself off and know that this is one of those new situations, with new people, in a new environment, at a new job… And it won’t be the last one; that it’s just part of life.
Rayanne Thorn, @ray_anne is the Marketing Director for the online recruiting software company, Broadbean Technology. She is also a proud mother of four residing in Laguna Beach, California, and a contributor for Blogging4Jobs. Connect with her on LinkedIn.
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