Every once in a while, we are reminded of our own mortality.
The passing of Steve Jobs only added to my week of recognizing that aging and death touch us all. Two of my colleagues were called away from work this week; one to care for a sick and aging parent and the other to say goodbye to a grandparent whose death is imminent. And interestingly enough – through these three incidents, I didn’t think about my own father’s death – like one might imagine.
Instead, I went to a time of innocence in my life. I was a young mother with two young children living a seemingly happy life; my daughters were four and six years old and I was twenty-nine. I was only working two days a week at the time and on my days off, we often went to a park close to our home and met with other similar moms and their similar children. One of my daughters’ (and their friends’) favorite things to do was build “houses” or the outline of houses out of pine needles. They, with all of their friends, would gather the fallen needles that covered the ground beneath the numerous pine trees and build “houses”.
The joy they experienced as they pretended their own futures was infectious and we, the moms, would often survey their work, examining the minute details our children would point out and praise their design and artistry, along with the general construction. They were innocent, their parents were young, their grandparents were all still alive and there seemed to be no ill will or sadness in any of our lives.
But as is often the case, innocence is replaced by fear and decay as age sets in and expectations change or are replaced by bigger and better dreams, but dreams that come at a cost – the cost most assuredly is innocence. And perhaps it is just the way it is, it is how life rolls. For I do not know anyone my age who still lives the same happy and innocent life they lived twenty years ago; there are no fort builders in the park or collectors of needles. But there is still hope in hearts and memories to sustain us through times of loss and sadness.
My brushes with death this week and my reflections of life have sealed with certainty my desire to continue to live in honesty and without regret. Surrounding myself with the simple joys and complex imaginings that will bear the sweet fruit of the future. So, this weekend, I will make sand angels and I will tell my children I love them, often. For how can I ever regret either?
Rayanne Thorn, @ray_anne is the North American Marketing Director for the online recruiting software company, Broadbean Technology. She is also a proud mother of four residing in Laguna Beach, California, and a contributor for Blogging4Jobs. Connect with her on LinkedIn.
{ 2 trackbacks }